World's Smartest Animals RANKED

 

Smartest Animals RANKED

Animals that can tell a Monet from a Piccasso.  Animals that can deliver the finest drugs to your doorstep? Or, animals that can save up ammunition to shoot you down when you least expect it?  They all exist, and today you’ll see why. 10. Ants Ok, so first of all, we should say that  measuring intelligence is hard enough in humans,  never mind in animals, and there is no scale  available that could tell us accurately just  how smart a certain animal species is. Nonetheless, scientists have observed animals enough to know how good some are at problem-solving, how they use tools, or how self-aware they are. So, with that in mind, let’s just look at animals that regularly pull off things that seem human-like in their cleverness. Let’s first talk about ants. These little critters are sometimes called the world’s smartest insect, although other folks might say hold on there, what about bees.  It’s true, bees are also smart, but we love ants so much we are going to talk about them. The average human might have in the region of 90 billion brain cells. Conversely, the ant may only have about 250,000, which isn’t much, but in terms of brain mass, ants do actually have quite large brains. It’s not about size, though, as the saying goes, it’s what you do with it that matters and ants do a lot of cool stuff. Just imagine being the size of an ant and trying to get around, without the ant version of Google Maps. They seem to always know exactly where they’re going, despite not really knowing the territory around them. That’s because they use a bunch of navigational cues. For instance, they look at the panorama around them; they look at the position of the sun, or how light are forming around them. They think about contours, smells, wind, what the ground feels like beneath them and they even count steps.  So, they take in all that information, and then they figure out the best way to a certain place. But what if you are a sadistic kid, and we know  some of you have been one, and you just picked  up an ant and took it to another place that  it's never been before, say, 100 meters from  its buddies. That’s a long way for an ant. For sure, if it could speak, it would call you a not very nice name, but it could still probably get back home.  Scientists in Australia did such an experiment, and they found that the lost ant conducted what the scientists called a “systematic search.” The researchers wrote, “The search pattern consisted of loops and was centered on the position where the nest was most likely to be located. At first, it covered a rather small area, but then gradually extended outwards to cover a larger area.” Ants are more than just good navigators, though. They are also quite good at discriminating who’s healthy and who's sick.  Researchers at the Institute of Science and Technology Austria and the University of Lausanne found that when some ants get sick, the colony gets down with a bit of social distancing. Basically, when the foragers go out and collect food, they risk picking up a disease, such as a fungal disease. The last thing a colony needs is everyone to get sick, so they somehow detect which ants have this disease and reduce their interactions with other ants. But the really special thing about ants is how they work together, with scientists calling the whole group one big super-organism. They use pheromones to communicate via smell, so if during the day a predator is threatening the colony, ants can tell each other by passing messages down a very long line. They might say something like, “Hey John, it’s kicking off in the mound, let’s go help.”  John might be a forager and not a fighter, but ants often change roles when needed. This teamwork makes them a force to be reckoned with.  As one scientist said, “An individual ant is not very bright, but ants in a colony, operating as a collective, do remarkable things.” With communication, including making noises and body movements, they can solve pretty tricky problems. In one experiment, researchers took a bunch of ants out of their natural environment and put them in a place where the researchers had also put a bunch of honey, twigs, pine needles, grains of soil, and also some non-natural things such as bits of paper and sponge. The ants did a bit of communicating, and soon they started using the soil to soak up the honey so they could move it. They also started tearing off bits of sponge just big enough to carry and then dipped them in the honey ready for transportation. Some ants tested doing that with both the paper and the sponge to see which the best was, and they figured all this out pretty fast. And we’re sure if the ants needed to take any of that stuff across a big drop, they’d have made a bridge out of themselves. Next we have an animal that might just be down for eating our super smart ants, but is pretty clever itself.9. Pigeons if we asked 100 of our viewers what their favorite animal were, we doubt anyone would choose those poop-bombing pigeons who vandalize our balconies every day of the week. They might not be the smartest bird - we’ll get to them soon - but pigeons are a lot more intelligent than you think. We can’t talk about pigeon brains without mentioning war, especially the First and Second World Wars when pigeons helped to save many, many lives. This wasn’t the first time pigeons were used to carry messages during wartime, even the great Julius Caesar used them to send home messages when he was fighting in Gaul, but in the world wars, they were extremely important. The US Army Signal Corps, for example, had 600 pigeons in WW1, and in WW2, the British forces had a whopping 250,000 pigeons. So, what’s so special about them? The answer is they can travel long distances, as far as 1000 miles (1,600 km), and sometimes reach an average top speed of around 100 mph (160 mph), and they can come back to the spot where they left. Attach a little note to them and these guys are a handy device in a war. In the world wars they flew so high it was hard to shoot them down, and they got their messages where they needed to be in quick time. As for how they do it, this is debated, but its though they have an internal compass, and with that, they know where to go by looking at the position of the sun, or looking at landmarks, the stars at night, and perhaps by feeling out the force of the Earth’s magnetic field. The latter is called “magneto reception”. As we said, this is still being debated. They might even use low-frequency signals to get where they are going. What’s not up for debate is how good pigeons are at it, with them recently being used by gangs to deliver drugs to certain places, including inside prisons, where they might also occasionally deliver a small cellphone. Here’s a newspaper headline from 2017, “Police  shoot carrier pigeon dead as it flies drugs into  jail in ‘backpack’” That was in Argentina, but  we found similar stories from many countries.  Try asking a sparrow or an owl to do that and your heroin will end up a tree someplace. But delivering war messages and the odd bit of prison spice isn’t their only talent.  One of the most famous pigeon studies involved the two renowned painters Pablo Picasso and Claude Monet. What’s important to know is that these artists had very different styles. Monet was an impressionist. We are sure you’ve all seen his paintings of water lilies. Picasso was known for the Cubist movement, with his often jagged paintings looking a bit scary, such as his famous Guernica. During the experiment, the pigeons had to peck a device, but they only got some food when they pecked the device when a Picasso painting was shown to them. If they tried pecking and a Monet painting was shown, nothing came out of the device. They then learned which paintings paid out. It a short amount of time, they didn’t even  bother pecking when a Monet painting was above  the device, but what’s crazy is they soon started  pecking when they were shown Picasso paintings  they’d never seen before, and wouldn’t peck when  they were shown Monet paintings they’d never seen.  Later, the researchers used other cubist and impressionist artists and the pigeons showed they could differentiate between those, too. Pigeons are very bright, as was proven in 2011 when some scientists at the University of Otago in Dunedin, New Zealand, showed through a series of tests that pigeons could count from one to nine. In 2016, a study using food rewards showed that pigeons were able to learn between 26 and 58 words with real meanings and were able to pick them out from among 7,832 words that were just meaningless jumbled letters. It turns out that pigeons have excellent memories, with The Guardian saying, “Memory test puts pigeons high in the pecking order.” The article talked about another study when one pigeon memorized 68% of 1,978 pictures, better than most humans could do. As another study concluded, “The pigeon is one of the smartest, most physically adept creatures in the animal kingdom.” So, be nice to pigeons, because it seems they don’t easily forget a face. Maybe if you got pooped on, you were a target. Next up is man’s best friend. 8. Dogs Are dogs intelligent? Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. But on other occasions, our mutts surprise us with their intelligence- especially when food is around. As you all know, not all dogs and dog breeds are blessed with the same brains, as can be seen when a Border collie straight up follows all kinds of orders and your Beagle can’t seem to get through one day without getting its head stuck in a boot. But any kind of canine is pretty clever when it comes to animal intelligence. After all, they can sense the sound of your voice when they are in trouble or about to get a treat.  They might salivate at the lips when they hear the dinner bell strike and when you are sad, they seem to know you need a bit of attention. Border collies are said to have the best brains when it comes to following orders, working things out, and generally getting things done. That’s why they are employed as sheepdogs so often. It is because dogs have evolved for so many years alongside humans that they have an extra-special ability to read us and read what’s going on around us. Unlike most other animals, dogs can  often sense when humans are in a bad mood,  but they might also know if you have come  across someone in the street and you don’t  like that person, or the person is a threat.  They can read situations and levels of tension, just because they are so familiar with humans. Try looking for sympathy from a pigeon. It won’t work, in spite of their great intelligence. Dogs also have one the best noses in the animal kingdom, which is handy when some other senses aren’t great. Dogs can be trained to find all sorts of things, including that China white heroin that the pigeon brought into the prison. They can also smell criminals who’ve been at a crime scene. Dogs don’t have the best sense of smell among all animals, but they are definitely in the top ten, especially when we are talking about the bloodhound. These things with their 230 million scent receptors can track a scent that has passed through a place as long as 13 days ago and they can follow a trail for something in the region of 150 miles. Talking about distance, you might have heard that you can take a dog many miles from its home and it can somehow get back. That’s true because, like birds, they have a homing device, which is likely related to the Earth’s Magnetic Field. Maybe the most famous story about this involved “Bobbie the Wonder Dog”, who was lost in 1924 while the owners were on a vacation in the US. Six months later, it was pawing at their house door after walking in the region of 2,800 miles. Dogs also demonstrate the ability to be cunning.  As some scientists point out, they use deception to get what they want. “Our pets can be sneaky and manipulative when they want to maximize the number of tasty treats they get to eat,” said one writer. They do this kind of thing to other dogs, too, such as one dog will pretend that something is going on outside of the house, and that leads the other dogs to go and have a look. Meanwhile, the sneaky pooch takes the best place on the sofa. It seems they also know when we are being deceitful. A study at the University of Vienna used 260 dogs of various breeds for some intelligence experiments. In them, someone who the dog didn’t know, a kind of handler, would take the dog to look at two buckets. In one of the buckets was a treat and in another was nothing. The handler told the dog to go investigate the bucket with the food in it, just by pointing and using language cues. When the dog pawed some paper above the bucket it found the treat.  Now a bond of trust had been formed. Then in the next part of the experiment, the handler went out of the room, and someone took the food out of bucket A and put it in bucket B.  The dog watched this. When the handler came back in and told the dog to go to bucket a, it didn’t.  It went for B. The dog knew the handler was wrong.  This might sound reasonable to you, but apes and children under 5 are apt to follow whatever an adult tells them to do in such situations. And that’s the thing with dogs; you actually don’t have to be unreliable too many times for them to lose trust in you. If you do prove to be unreliable that can lead to bad behavior in the household. One researcher said, “Dogs have more sophisticated social intelligence than we thought.  This social intelligence evolved selectively in their long life history with humans.” If that’s not impressive, you need to know that some dogs can learn a long list of words.  Sure, you already know that your dogs responded to the world “alkies” or “din-din” or something like that, but some dogs know lots of words. You could say any of 345 words to a border collie named Betsie and she would run off and try and find that very thing. 7. Cats we guess we have to talk about cats since we’ve done dogs. In the world of pet ownership, there’s a kind of snobbery in which cat owners perceive dog owners as inferior, needy even, while they are far more independent, just as their pets are. They scoff at dogs for being stupid and are always happy to extol their cat’s many talents, which in any decent world would be called doggish. But are they right in saying their  cat is more intelligent than dogs,  which let’s face it, is an assumption crudely  based on things such as their cat doesn’t attack  the vacuum cleaner and won’t jump through  a window to get hold of a fake sausage? That daft doggie on average has about twice the number of neurons in its brain than its feline counterpart. That matters. Neurons are like processing units, so when you have more of them, you have more brainpower. Dogs have around 500 million neurons and cats about half that. As you already know, though, it’s not just about size or the number of neurons. It’s more complicated than that, just as one scientist said, “Small animals with absolutely small brains can be surprisingly smart and large animals with absolutely large brains relatively unintelligent.” For instance, an elephant is packing more neurons  than a human, but we don’t see any elephants  sitting around on the savannah discussing their  latest developments for self-replicating smart  Nano robot weapons and talking about the  cosmic futility they feel every morning  when they wake up and go on Elephant Tube. Its how the brain is structured that matters, what it's made of, and that’s complicated. Size can matter, but we can’t just go on size alone. Back to cats. Some studies have shown that while they can be clever little animals, they can’t keep up with canines when it comes to counting things and identifying quantities. Still, on the upside for cats, they have the ability to know something exists even when it’s not there.  Even when humans are really young, they don’t have this ability, sometimes referred to as object permanence. Dogs have it, too, by the way, but let’s focus on cats alone right now. On the downside for cats, an experiment in 2009 showed they had trouble with something rats or pigeons would probably find quite easy. That was, they had to pull on a string and a treat came out when they did so. But then they were faced with lots of strings, some which led to a treat and others that didn’t, the poor felines were all over the place. They just grabbed at everything. Stupid cats! As for why cats don’t always follow orders,  that’s not necessarily related to being  clever or being dumb, they just haven’t  been as domesticated as long as dogs, which  is probably why they like to go their own way. This can be a good thing when it comes to solving problems, though. In studies with cats and dogs, both animals were asked to solve some problems.  It turned out that the dogs gave up faster and looked for help from humans, whereas the cats were more prone to persevere and complete the problem by themselves. Overall, though, we think dogs are just that bit more intelligent. Now let’s talk about that big-brained beast we mentioned earlier. 6. Elephants You already know that elephants have a pretty massive organ in their heads. It’s smaller than the brain of a sperm whale and a little bit bigger than an animal we’ll soon talk about:  the dolphin. But the thing we want to discuss here is what kind of value do elephants get for their five kilograms (11 pounds) of brain? They might not be able to develop weapons of mass destruction, but they have some traits that show us they are pretty bright. For one, they bury their dead in a ritualistic kind of way, and they even mourn by the grave. Not many animals do that. In fact, elephants might be the only ones besides primates and us humans. So, what does that tell you about elephants?  It tells you they suffer from grief and have a certain amount of empathy. Elephants are said to have complex frontal lobes, and with that, they have emotional depth, they rejoice when meeting with old friends, and they don’t forget each other. When they come across a carcass of a past friend, they know who it was and it saddens them. As one researcher said, “They stop and become quiet and tense in a different way from anything I have seen in other situations.” Elephants aren’t alone in being so emotional, but they perhaps stand out a bit among animals. They also have some wicked senses, according to a study undertaken by researchers at the University of Sussex in Brighton. They showed that elephants can hear a voice and detect the age and sex of the person, but in some cases also the ethnicity. That sounds weird, but it doesn’t mean any ethnicity. The study involved researchers playing a recorded message to the elephants.  The message was the same, but it was spoken by members of two different tribes: the Masa and the Kamba of Kenya. Importantly, the Masa has a long history of hunting elephants. So, when an adult male from the Masa tribe  was heard talking, the elephants got scared and  huddled together, as if they were in danger, but  when they heard the Kamba guy say the same thing,  they just chilled. When children or women from the Masa tribe read the message, the elephants also didn’t give a damn, because women and kids had never been a threat to them. Elephants have used tools, too, such as sticks with which to scratch themselves and blocks to stand on to get high hanging fruit. Some other elephants have been seen plugging up a water hole with something they made so the water couldn’t evaporate. As you know, it’s the use of tools that makes us humans as unpopular as we are today in the animal kingdom. Tool use is a good indicator of animal intelligence. Elephants can learn new stuff, too, such as painting pretty pictures. Some people online have said this isn’t true and there’s some cheating going on, but when the BBC went to investigate the elephant was really painting. In fact, they’ve been doing abstract paintings for years and it is very much real, as you would know, if you lived in parts of Thailand. It’s not that the elephants are necessarily being creative, but that they’ve learned a bunch of strokes. They may even love painting. Every time an elephant named Ruby heard the word “paint” at Phoenix Zoo she would get really excited. Elephants have also been known to play musical instruments, and when they do, they show that they can make an almost melodic tune rather than lots of disjointed noise. One elephant band even finished its songs with crescendos. They are truly amazing animals, engaging in all kinds of play, showing self-awareness, having an outstanding memory, and at times being able to mimic the noises of other animals, including humans. One elephant in South Korea used a technique with its trunk to make the Korean words: sit, no, yes, lie down. As for problem-solving, elephants are animal Brainiac’s. They can take their time solving a problem, and when one method doesn’t work, they switch to another. They’ve been shown to work  together when two elephants are required to pull  on a rope and in another experiment which involved  lots of buckets and lots of apples being thrown  into them, the elephants stood by and watched,  and at the end seventy-four percent of  the time, they chose the fullest bucket. Let’s now move on to an animal people love to eat but don't like thinking about how it gets on their plate. 5. Pigs Poor pigs, man they have a hard life. If you’ve ever seen what kind of conditions they live in before going to the slaughterhouse and what happens at the slaughterhouse, well, it’s something you can’t unknown once you’ve seen it. We recommend you google it for yourself and get informed. It’s truly horrendous, cruel, and terrifying, and that’s the lives of most pigs in super developed nations or less developed nations.  Free-range is better than factory farm, but it’s still a horrible life for the swine. When you see videos of pigs in factory farms or slaughterhouses, you can almost feel their pain; hear the pain in their screeching. Part of the reason why this is so hard to watch is that pigs are very bright animals. It’s as if they are aware of what’s going on and what’s going to happen to them. As if right before they are slaughtered, they totally know. You can see that in their desperation when they try to get away. Anyone that has kept pigs will know they are really emotional animals. It’s obvious they feel stress, joy, fear, confusion, and more. They have personalities, too, with some of them being really friendly and some being a bit too stubborn. Well, that’s when they are not wasting away in overcrowded farms. If left to live a natural life, they form social bonds with other pigs, and like some other animals we’ll talk about later, they form hierarchies. That’s to ensure there is some harmony in the group, and for animals, Pigs must hate those farms so much given that they have to live in their own poop, because when left to their own devices, they are really tidy and they choose a spot where everyone goes to the toilet. They even decorate their living quarters, sometimes making them pretty with flowers. The saying as dirty as a pig couldn’t be more wrong. The only reason they like mud is to keep them cool and not get sunburnt or keep bugs away, and they always make sure to use things such as bark to wipe the mud off later. Pigs communicate using a long list of grunts, and that’s why when things are bad all the pigs suffer a kind of “emotional contagion”. But they can use this communication for the good, showing in studies that they can work together to solve problems. When that’s done, they sometimes bed down together nose to nose, looking just like human lovers wrapped up in bedsheets. According to one study, pigs were better at completing cognition tasks than a three-year-old child and way better than any traditional domestic pet. In another study, four pigs named Hamlet, Omelets, Ebony, and Ivory played a video game with their snouts and they did pretty well. One researcher told the BBC, “They're not playing Minecraft - but that they can manipulate a situation to get a reward is no surprise at all… When you look a pig right in the eye, you can tell there's intelligence there.” So, pigs are skilled. They’re compassionate.  They’re sensitive, and they are just cool. Let’s hope one day their existences aren’t animal hell on Earth. Now for something you probably didn’t expect to see on this list. 4. Crows In 2019, the BBC asked this question: “Crows could be the smartest animal other than primates?” The article started with a story about some Oxford University scientists and a crow named Betty.  Betty had a problem. In her cage, down a little tube, was a bit of delicious pig heart – sorry pigs – but how could she get at it with just a beak and some claws? Betty thought for a while and suddenly noticed that inside her cage was a bit of wire, so she grabbed hold of the wire and then pushed it against an object, so it was hooked at the end.  She then went fishing for that heart and got it. Job well done. Crows may have tiny brains, but they are compact, having on average 1.5 billion neurons. It's those neurons that have made crows the best at certain tests. They became the first animal outside of humans to complete a task to secure some food floating in water at the bottom of a tube. To get it out, they started picking up stones to displace the water and bring the food to the top. Most kids can’t do this until they’re about seven years old. Crows use tools in the wild all the time. They mourn their dead and they are also self-aware, being able, according to a 2020 study, to contemplate what’s in their heads. In short, scientists measured their brain stimulus when they were asked to complete a task.  It was shown that the birds didn’t just complete the task, but they were aware that they had done it. This relates to what we call consciousness. Crows don’t forget people, either. In another experiment, humans wearing masks tagged some crows and let them fly off. Later, people wearing the same masks walked around and the crows dive-bombed them, presumably because they didn’t much like being tagged. Each crow chose the correct mask to dive bomb, rather than just any of the humans. Crows might even be able to differentiate between human languages. One study involved crows that were used to Japanese people talking. The researchers played the crows Japanese voices on a recording. They didn’t seem interested at all, perhaps because they’d heard something similar before. But when the recording featured Dutch voices, the crows became animated and seemed enraptured by the voices. Crows are also sly. Many animals plan for the future, as you can see when intelligent animals such as foxes, rats, and squirrels hide their food. But crows take things a step further.  Sometimes they’re about to hide something and then they notice another crow is watching them. Still, they carry on, pretending to hide the food. They’ve actually hidden it in their feathers with the plan to hide it when the other crow is busy looking for food that’s not there. If that isn’t cool, crows also use humans to help them eat. Let’s say they have a nut but can’t crack it. No problem, they just drop it in the street where they know a car will run over it.  They’ve even been known to wait for the crosswalk sign to go green before they safely stroll across the street to eat the cracked nut. Ok, now on to another of your favorite animals. 3. Rats we should damn well know if rats are clever because we certainly use enough of them for our experiments, from trapping them in mazes to getting them hooked on drugs. Rats are said to be some of the brightest animals on the planet, but again, they have very small brains. A researcher was asked this, and she responded, “Even though the rat brain is smaller and less complex than the human brain, research has shown that the two are remarkably similar in structure and function. Both consist of a vast amount of highly connected neurons that are constantly talking to each other.” There’s the saying, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but it seems with rats, you can always teach them new tricks. They’re one of the best animals at performing tasks humans have asked them to do, but of course, there usually has to be something in it for them. If you give them a stroke after that, they emit a noise that we humans can’t hear, but we now know that it's rat laughter.  If that doesn’t enamor them to you, studies have shown rats sacrifice for the greater good. In those studies, some rats chose to free other rats from cages rather than go for a food reward and leave the other rats behind bars. They’re definitely smart animals, but in one study in Belgium, they performed even better than humans. The rats and humans were taught  to look at certain ‘good’ and ‘bad’ patterns,  and then they were given new patterns to look  at and were asked to say if they were ‘good’ or  ‘bad’. They weren’t asked as in talking to them of course, but directed to choose in another way. The study leader, Ben Vermaercke, said the rats outperformed the humans at one stage in the study when things got more complex. The rats just had a better way of working things out. As one scientist said, “Although rats may not approach cognitive tasks using strategies observed in human subjects, they are frequently successful on their own terms.” He said rats find loopholes to complete tasks that humans don’t tend to think about. Ok, it’s time we talked about something that lives in the sea. 2. Dolphins Sure, we could have gone for the big-brained whale and we might have chosen the incredibly smart octopus, but in the end, we went for dolphins. Female dolphins only give birth a few times in their lives, but when they do, they spend a lot of time teaching their young. Those youngsters grow up in a complex environment with many rules.  To deal with that, they need a complex brain, and dolphins have one, including a large neocortex, a part of the brain associated with intelligence. Dolphins, like elephants, engage in complex play, such as making bubbles in the water and biting them for fun. They might even help other species when they’re in trouble, which they’ve done with humans a few times when the humans are looking like they’re in trouble. Not many animals do that, which shows empathy as well as intelligence. Dolphins are also one of few animals to pass something called the mirror test, which could mean they are self-aware. Basically, the test entails putting a mark on an animal when it is unconscious or at least not aware of what’s going on. It then gets a mirror shoved in front of it and if it notices the mark, often a red blotch, it has seen the change and so is self-aware. As for problem-solving, in one experiment a dolphin named Kelly was given some fish treats every time she brought a piece of waste paper to a human. She wanted more fish, of course, so she soon learned to get one piece, hide it under a rock, rip it up, and take the humans smaller pieces each time. That meant more fish. Dolphins are also really good at passing on such knowledge using various sounds.  They are excellent teachers, as is seen when adults teach the young that if they go foraging with a bit of sponge on their snouts they will get hurt less when hitting various sharp objects. And if dolphins look like emotional creatures, it’s because they are.  For their size, they have really big brains and a big part of that brain is something called the Para limbic system. Scientists say this is why dolphins can live in large groups and have complex relationships with all the members. The ability to work together in groups is what makes humans so powerful, but for most animals, it’s just not possible. Animals have to form hierarchies and social systems to be successful otherwise you have total chaos.  It’s this collaboration that humans have that is the reason you are watching this video right now.  It took a lot of work to get from the days when we were grunting at each other in caves to now, which brings us to the number one spot on this list. 1. Primates which primates do we choose since there are over 500 species, from ones only as big as your fist to ones that look like King Kong? Some of them live in trees in small groups and some live mostly down on the ground in groups of around 15 to 150. It’s the apes, not the monkeys that are the most intelligent primates. That’s namely orangutans and chimpanzees, which actually have very different habits and lifestyles while also being very similar. Chimps live in groups, and they have a strict social order revolving around that dominance hierarchy we’ve just talked about. Without this order, they wouldn’t be successful at survival. But it does sometimes seem brutal when for what looks like no good reason they beat up and rip apart a member of their own group. That doesn’t seem like an intelligent thing to do, given that the chimp you’ve killed could have your back one day. It also doesn’t look great to some of the other chimps who might fear and distrust the instigator of the beat down.  Remember that a good alpha male isn’t just tough; it is also fair and needs respect just as much as fear from the group. It’s not always clear why chimps kill their own, but at the end of the day, it has to be something to do with a problem in the hierarchy.  Some chimps sometimes need kicking out, and that usually means a lot of blood being spilled. Still, they also show great kindness, and they mourn for their dead. With primates, much time is spent grooming each other, which shows you are a solid member of the group. So, the love they show is as important as any violence. If there was a Chimp social media platform, everyone would write: Relationship: Complicated.  But that just shows how clever they are. They forage in groups and they fight in groups, sometimes showing battle strategies other animals would not be able to come up with. If chimps have been on a hunt and torn apart some poor monkey, they usually share the food with the others who haven’t even been part of the hunt. How they share also shows their cunning and kindness. It’s all part of a larger scheme in the game of life. They are complex when it comes to leadership, too. Some chimps rule with an iron fist and others are fairer and do a lot more grooming.  In some cases, the ones who’ve been harsh get overthrown, so it pays to show some tough love, and not just rule with the threat of violence. They use grunts and screams and other noises to communicate and they use all kinds of body language to put across how they feel. They “fish” for termites and ants using sticks and stalks and after looking at how the older chimps do it, they can learn how to use a rock as an anvil and smash a nut on it with another rock or a tree branch. That’s pretty ingenious for an animal, but all sorts of tools are used by chimps. They use weapons, too. At Furuvik zoo in Sweden, one chimp didn’t much like the crowds upsetting his peace, so he started throwing rocks at people. The zookeepers had no idea where the chimp had got so many rocks, so they filmed him during the night. It turned out that he collected rocks and made secret ammunition piles, which he’d use when he knew visitors were coming back. It’s not that unusual for chimps to throw things  at people, it’s just part of them wanting to look  dominant, but what’s amazing here is how this  chimp planned his attacks the night before or  days before. They’ve also been known to construct makeshift ladders to get out of their enclosures, building them first and taking them out at night. We could add more, but you get the picture.  These animals are the closest we have to ourselves: the good, the bad, and the ugly. As for Orangutans, they aren’t quite as unpredictable as chimps so there’s little chance one would pull off your face for no obvious reason. Orangutans are fairly timid most of the time, but that’s mostly because they don’t live in hierarchies like chimps. Orangutans are quite solitary and the males don’t bring up the young, although they will hang out together from time to time and if push comes to shove, the alpha will turn up and sort out a problem. It’s debatable if Orangutans are more intelligent than chimps, although we know who we’d prefer to spend a quiet afternoon with. They spend a lot of time chilling, and when they go out foraging (they don’t often eat meat) they might use any number of really complex tools. In some instances, they’ve been seen to have not just tools, but have tool kits, with each tool used for specific tasks. In captivity, they’ve even used things such as hammers and saws, although they won’t be getting hired to fix your deck anytime soon. They can match chimps in many ways, but they are the first animal in the world to show they can manage gift exchanges using something called “calculated reciprocity”. That’s basically you thinking,  well, he gave me a crap gift for Christmas so  he’s getting something equally rubbish back.  Orangutans have their gift exchanges weighed up. What’s more, they might be the first animal to talk about the past. We know this because scientists observed orangutan mothers when danger was passing by. She didn’t move or make a noise, but when the danger had passed, she went over to her kids and in orangutan speech said something like, “Watch out kiddo, that damn clouded leopard is back again.” We should say that to conduct this experiment, the researchers dressed up as the predators.  All kinds of primates use a special kind of hoot when danger is lurking, but what hadn’t been seen before are animals waiting several minutes and then sounding the alarm. That shows a good deal of consciousness rather than just a natural instinctive reflex. So, we can’t say which is the smartest  ape because they’re all good at different  things, and what they’re good at relates  to how they live, but we do like this bit  of information passed on by a zookeeper: “Give a gorilla a screwdriver and he will sniff  it, taste it, and then discard it. Give the screwdriver to a chimp and he will sniff it, taste it, and then discard it. Give the screwdriver to an orangutan and he will examine it, hide it, and at night use it to disassemble his cage.” Well, a chimp might use it to stab your eyes out, which we guess is also very human. That’s it for today, now you need to watch, “What If Animals Went to World War with Humans?” Or, have a look at “Why YouWouldn’t Survive a Town Full of Ants.”

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